hey everyone I have made a videos about being gay and I've also made a video about being biracial but today I wanted to make a video about being gay and Asian 23andme reached out to me and asked if I wanted to try out their service which actually worked out really perfectly because I had already been planning on doing it because some of my closest friends have tried it out and have really loved the experience if you don't know what 23andme is it's a service that allows you to understand your DNA and see where your ancestors came from which helps inform the way that you look which then informs the way that you move through the world as a human being so I just want to say thank you to 23andme for sponsoring this video because it's something that I'm really excited about and finding out what my background is is also really meaningful to me as well so I'm gonna be taking the test and talking more about this later in the video but first the gay and Asian stuff or as I like to say gay Jin before I jump into everything I want to say that I know that I'm not full Asian my mom is from Thailand so that makes me half asian unless this test tells me otherwise which will be a complete shock to my identity and my other half is Caucasian the way that I grew up was really immersed in the Thai culture the majority of my household the people living in it we're Thai I grew up with my mom and grandma speaking the language I understand it I grew up eating mostly Thai food going to Temple the Thai side of me was a hugely integral part of my upbringing so I'm gonna be talking about some overarching experiences within Asian cultures in general just kind of themes that tend to happen all across the board I'm also going to integrate some of my personal experiences into that so you can kind of get examples of what I'm talking about it is no secret that I love reading and I love learning and I have really especially in the last few years made an effort to seek out specifically writing that focuses on the American Asian experience and I have found the resources at various places that have books to be pretty minimal and the things that I have found while they're really amazing and wonderful reads they are usually written by men when you factor in a woman who is AAPI which by the way means Asian American Pacific Islander that number drops and if you also add in a gay woman who is AAPI it pretty much gets close to zero at least in terms of what I have found myself and it makes me sad because as I've gotten older I've really started to seek out writing and stories that resonate with my personal experience and to see if somebody else out there has experienced what I have also experienced maybe I can learn something from that I think there are multiple factors at play here in terms of why this kind of material it doesn't exist and even when you look online the resources are pretty minimal and when I was looking up specifically just a gay and Asian experience most of it is focused on men and there's maybe like a small section that's focused on women so I really wanted to make this video not only to explore my identity but to add to a conversation that I think really needs to happen and I really hope that this helps encourage more people to participate and share their stories something that I found to be really shocking mostly just seeing it as an actual statistic because when I think about it just in life in general I'm like okay this makes sense but seeing it in writing is like a whole other thing 82% of LGBTQ AAPI people report racism from white people within the LGBTQ community so if you think about how that percentage is so high just within the LGBTQ community think about how that percentage most definitely probably rises outside of the LGBTQ community there are specific things that LGBTQ AAPI men and women experience and I'm going to be focusing on the things that women experience women are usually stereotyped as being docile and exotic you normally hear things like oh they look so exotic and different there's also this idea around Asian women being very docile and that also goes in to the cultural expectations of women which I will touch on in a little bit this really creates a space for sexual objectification especially if you are a gay Asian woman and you present more on the femme side the femme experience of harassment particularly from heterosexual men is definitely a theme that you see being talked about and when you add in being Asian on top of that it makes you more vulnerable to this harassment because there are these very specific ideas about how Asian women are and what they're supposed to be like and this almost subservient view of Asian women and how you know they're not supposed to speak up or say anything and just basically be your humble servant and so when a woman presents herself in a more traditionally feminine way but is not heterosexual it can really create a hostile environment where she receives you know threats she's being yelled at her physical well-being can be put in danger which is something that I have definitely experienced from men when I say that I'm gay sometimes it is a huge shock to them and they don't respond in a kind way and it can be really scary to be in those positions and it also can make you feel like there's something wrong with you – I would be lying if I said that I walked away from situations like that feeling amazing about myself because while I'm able to stand up for myself and feel good in that power it also feels not so great to have somebody just yell at you I want to focus a little bit on this view that people have of Asian women in terms of being submissive and docile this is something that is really woven into the cultural threads of various Asian communities and I know from my personal experience it's definitely something that was prevalent in my upbringing so I was taught to you know be quiet and to not cause any kind of disruption and to just be nice and to follow the path that was set out in front of me and to not fight it and to live a quiet peaceful life so obviously I have broken all of those rules and I have just always been very rebellious in terms of the cultural expectations that I was brought up with I have always been somebody that has deeply felt this desire to express myself in various ways I always asked questions and that is also something that typically is not welcomed in certain environments especially if to be good and proper and a nice lady that somebody's going to want to marry you have to be this very specific way I was always just shattering through that and then being gay on top of that you know it's not always well-received I think specifically within Asian families sometimes what is the most hurtful is this silence because there's so much shame wrapped up in it so you know coming out can be met with this silence because your family just feels this shame and there is that aspect of honor and duty and pride in Asian families and oftentimes when you break that mold if the family is very traditional it can be really really painful and obviously experiences vary from family unit to family unit but there are these overarching themes just from things that I've read and also people that I've talked to you who have experienced these things I don't think I've ever talked about this before other than just in my private life but I think that it's time for me to share this because it's something that's relevant to this conversation and what happened was I came out and I was essentially told that I didn't need to say anything about my sexuality publicly and it was better for me to keep things private and to not say anything because it was my business and nobody else needed to know that was really hard for me because I understood where that was coming from I understood the cultural context around that because that was the way that I was brought up well I think there are really amazing things that you can learn from cultivating a personal private life which i think is absolutely essential I think there's a difference between your private personal life and keeping a secret that is detrimental to your overall well-being because if something really belongs in the personal private space it's going to elevate your level of personal well-being but if something is detrimental and it's a secret that can be harmful to you it's going to lower that state of personal well-being and I saw coming out as something that would have been this huge secret that would have been awful for me to not say anything about when so much of my life is being public and being honest with people I have cultivated my full-time job off of honesty and evolution and constantly digging into myself and exploring what is going on with me and how my past translates into my present so it would have been a huge violation to the way that I have chosen to live my life that was something that was really difficult to grapple with and I had to you know look this person in the face and say that I just wasn't going to do that and I wasn't going to stay quiet and it makes me really emotional thinking about that now because it was hard you know you love these people who are in your life and just because you don't see eye to eye on something doesn't mean that all of that love just completely disappears and then having to dig into the understanding of why that was said to me and how you know I needed to create a space for patience for that person to see me living my life to say things publicly to be outspoken and to see how that really enriches my life I want to be somebody who says something when I feel like it's inside of me moving into the media which has definitely been a huge discussion on Twitter and the Internet in general in terms of representation and things that we see in the media accurately reflecting reality in the media whenever we see an Asian woman character she's typically one or combination of three things and the first two things that I'm about to say please can we think of other names because I do not want to be saying these words but I am going to say them because I think it's important for all of us to realize how terrible this terminology is the first way that Asian women are normally portrayed in the media is as a dragon lady the dragon lady character usually is like this mystical magical mysterious character who normally has some kind of sinister undertone to her the other end of the spectrum is the china doll this is typically a character that is very prim proper quiet stuffy very rigid and very people pleasing and the last way that Asian women are typically portrayed is as a complete joke so as the comedic relief and this is also something that's really common with Asian men and if you think about Asian characters that you have seen whether it's in you know a TV show or in movies they oftentimes do follow those molds for example in 13 reasons why the character Courtney who is awesome because she is a gay Asian girl also fits that stereotype of the more rigid prim and proper and very people-pleasing character and that is one thing that I was really just disappointed to see in terms of that character because there was so much going for her but then they put her in like these little headbands and like button-down shirts she looked like she was going to prep school even she was in a regular public high school and yes that specific taste in style can 100% exist but there's also a lot of other styles that can exist you so can we please just present the Asian girl in a different way for once all of these things that I have talked about have an effect on Asian girls in general in the way that they view themselves and especially queer Asian girls when we don't see ourselves reflected in writing in TV shows in movies in meaningful stories around us we start to think that there's something wrong with us and that it's not okay to share those things and we start to feel shame about that and we start living inside of that shame instead of living in our power and our truth something that really gave me hope recently was going to politican and going to the AAPI panel that was there and it was honestly probably my favorite panel that I went to the entire day because the room was filled with young Asian people who were ready to get to work to make a difference and to really change the dialogue around Asian people and that's why I'm making this video because it's a way that I can contribute and so I'm doing it and now back to the 23andme part I really wanted to do this to just understand more about my background I'm also planning on making a follow-up video about being biracial things that I haven't talked about before and also sharing my results this is the kit that I have it is the health and ancestry kit and if you're wondering why it's called 23andme if you think back to science class and remember learning about DNA 23 pairs of chromosomes little third heart is so happy about that okay I'm going to get into this kit now and take this test Eileen has done this and she has told me that the spit situation there's a lot of spit involved because there can't be any bubbles this is what looks like hi let's get started okay let's do this spit into the funnel until the amount of liquid saliva not bubbles reaches the fill line in picture two I have to spit in here up to that line let me generate some saliva here I also just love how I leans on the floor over here just watching me stupid guys I'm so millennial with my like slightly pink saliva hold the tube upright with one hand goes the funnel lid by firmly pushing the lid until you hear a loud click the liquid in the lid will be released into the tube to mix with the saliva make sure that the lid is closed tightly hold the tube upright unscrew the funnel from the tube and discard take this off by put this on hello shake the cap tube for five seconds all right here we go place the cap tube into the plastic bag containing the absorbent pad and seal the bag do not remove the absorbent pad from the plastic bag here's my plastic bag that is the absorbent pad Aileen is just loving this sealing it up and then this goes in here in the original box oh and then you just ship it back in this pretty easy that was so easy Wow they've really got this down I can see why they have a business office all I have to do now is wait for my results and I'm really excited to see what my results are going to be because I know that my mom is from Thailand she literally moved here from Thailand was born there her family has lived there for a while I'm interested to see if there's any other Asian on my Asian side like if it's dispersed outside of Thailand and I'm really interested in my dad's side because everything was a lot more vague on his side of the family I know that my grandfather came over from Norway but other than that I really don't know anything about my dad side of the family like I don't know anything about where my grandma came from and her background everything was just kind of all over the place no one really knew for sure in terms of health I definitely want to see what my results are going to be in terms of caffeine and lactose intolerance I had no idea that your DNA could even tell you things like this like these pre disposals – you know caffeine and lactose and what your sleep is like and things like that I had no idea that this was even possible so I'm pretty excited to see what its gonna say so if you are curious about 23andme you can go to 23andme dot-com slash Ingrid I'll have a link down below for you guys and you can just learn more about the service and if you want to try it out yourself all of the information that you need is there on the website so I will be updating you when I get my results and I will be making a whole other video around that and I'm pretty excited for it also wondering if I'm going to have an identity crisis to be completely honest I am just like oh my gosh what if my results end up being something that I just completely didn't see coming I'm open to the possibilities and I'm just generally curious and excited about what's to come alright that is gonna be it for today I hope you guys enjoyed this video if you have any questions for me please leave them down below if you enjoyed this video please give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe to my channel because I have more videos coming your way but honestly aren't we all curious about the results here you gotta be subscribed otherwise you're gonna miss what my results are this is a real cliffhanger here alright guys I will talk to you later I hope you're having an awesome day bye