hello again everybody welcome back everybody hello everyone why is it so weird for me to say hi today why can't I just say hi let's get this video started okay that works I've been getting a lot of requests to do a video about books because I read a lot I post about books on my Instagram stories all the time and I have just been getting a lot of comments and messages asking me to talk about some books that I have read recently and to just share my thoughts on them I am a huge book nerd and I don't think I've ever actually made a video like this before which is actually quite shocking to me because I talk about books so much with the people that are in my life and it's just kind of a no-brainer for me to be doing this I just can't believe after all this time I haven't really done anything like this before I read a lot of different kinds of books I don't really have one particular thing that I stick to you and you'll definitely see a variety in the selection that I brought today so I'm just gonna go ahead and jump into everything this is a book that has been talked a lot about recently it's called the hate you give and it's by Angie Thomas and it was in number one New York Times bestseller I started reading this when I was on vacation and I started tearing up by the end of chapter two this is an incredible story it doesn't take that long to read and it is just something that's so moving and so powerful and really relevant to what's happening today the main character in this book is star and she lives in a poor black neighborhood but it tends a wealthy white school and so you see her grappling with this really huge divide in her life trying to figure out how it balances out and then one of her childhood best friends gets killed and the way that it happens is what made me tear up at the end of chapter two I was just so taken aback by how I was feeling and what happened and how quickly the story just gets started her friend was a young black teenager and he was shot by a police officer and it goes into the story of you know the police not really doing anything about it people getting really upset and protesting and really fighting for this huge injustice that was unfolding right in front of them and this is something that we see pretty much every single day in our country and I think the way that it's wrapped up into this story is just so powerful it really just even talking about this book gives me goosebumps because I think it's something that everybody should read this is a young adult novel but it is something that I as an adult really enjoyed I think there are definitely young adult books out there that just have these incredible stories inside of them and it's something that's really wonderful to to have a younger generation read something like this and have it really resonate with them and to teach them things like empathy and justice and how unfair things can be when you're not white I have a tote bag here so it could hold everything this next book is all about relationships and it was actually recommended to me by my friend Kat who really loved this book it is called attached the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love so this is an interesting book it's more of like a self-help book but it basically lays out these different styles of attachment in psychology there's something called attachment theory which essentially is about the bonds that are created when you're young those early childhood attachments that you're making like to your parents or whoever is taking care of you and how fundamental those are to you as a human being and how they carry with you into your adult life this is kind of based on that but it talks about attachment as an adult and how when we seek out romantic relationships there are different attachment styles in the book they have three different types so there's anxious people who are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back avoidant and these people equate intimacy with a loss of Independence and constantly try to minimize closeness and then secure people who feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving what's cool because there's actually a test in this book that you can take to figure out what you are if anybody is curious I got secure and I wasn't really too surprised by that I think if I had taken this test years ago I definitely would have received a different answer but I think at this point in my life I just feel really secure with who I am wanting an intimate relationship and being a stable partner for somebody I really loved learning about the different ways that the different types interact with each other the one thing I didn't like is how they make in the book avoidant seemed like all hope is lost at least that's kind of what I took away from it and I just didn't like that one thing that I really loved is how they talk about attachment so culturally we are typically told that you must be an independent person and be on your own which is great and I think that is definitely true up to a certain extent I don't think you should rely on your partner for every single thing in your life but I did love how they talked about two people coming together in a successful relationship where the balance was really good when two people come together and find security and balance in their relationship they then in turn become more independent individually in their own separate lives they become more adventurous they take risks that they normally wouldn't take they become more outgoing they're just more daring in general to strive for the things that they really want because they have that little safe haven that they can go back to and I thought that was a really cool element of this book overall I enjoyed this and I definitely learned a lot and I think if you're curious about something like this this is a really fun book to read because it is quite interactive too I posted about this book on my Instagram stories this is Inferno by Eileen miles who is one of my all-time favorite writers it is no secret that I love Eileen miles I love her poetry I also really loved Chelsea girls that is one of my all-time favorite books if you have read Chelsea girls Inferno kind of reminds me of Chelsea girls it's not exactly the same but the general story of a queer female artist living in New York in the 1970s and these shenanigans and stories that unfold along the way that's the general gist of the book but I loved it like I couldn't get enough of Chelsea girls so I just loved inferno I love the way that Eileen miles talks about relationships self-discovery just the mundane things that happen in life and I love the way that she writes about New York City there is this one part where she's talking about the way that people speak in New York City there is a man who uses the word denizen he kind of sneered when he said the word denizen which to me was exotic but here apparently it was normal it simply meant that people adults hung out New York had a way of professionalizing than normal which was heaven for me he or she's talking about how the city is constantly changing a place starts as the Bowery residence committee or the 3rd Street Music School and it loses its lease or it has to grow so it winds up on 11th Street and keeps its old name because that's what it is also it becomes an occasion for New Yorkers to boast I lived on Third Street when the music school was there people real the story becomes sort of an arch for an older person to talk under and the new people to stand around there and listen and then step through and walk on but some of it sticks always the new city grows as the old one is shrinking and a person's ability to arrive in some comfortable state with both cities has a lot to do with money not necessarily having it but having a good relationship with it Eileen miles definitely writes in a very different way she often abandons traditional punctuation and spelling and I just really love that it's really a flow when you read her writing and because I've heard her read before I know that she has a Boston accent so I always read it in this Eileen miles Boston accent which I just really enjoy I feel like it really brings everything to life and that she's right there next to you telling you this story next up this is a book that was written in 1918 when I said that I liked various kinds of books I meant it so this is a book called a married love and it's by Marie Stopes this was originally published in 1918 this is a ninth edition and it was printed in 1920 so it's very old so I definitely read this book with care but if you watch Downton Abbey this is a book that appeared briefly in that show it's a book all about how to basically be sexual when you're married and how to explore a sexual relationship so if any of you watch Downton Abbey and you remember Mary going through her kind of sexual liberation phase where she started seeing this guy she wasn't fully ready to commit to an engagement she really wanted to see what their relationship would be like and she had Anna go out and get her a condom so she could have sex with this guy before saying yes I want to marry you basically she just wanted to date and she wanted to have sex with this guy but it was such a taboo thing to do at the time and Anna went out and got her a condom and Mary was reading this book so I just think that things like this are fascinating because it really gives you an insight into what was happening at that time culturally and socially and this really was a book that was so just controversial when it came out because it was talking to women about sex and how to get pleasure and how to give pleasure and just anything sexual in general was like a huge deal I just love how things are written to for example dreaming of happiness feeling that at last they have each found the one who will give eternal understanding and tenderness the young man and maiden marry at first in the time generally called the honeymoon the unaccustomed freedom and the sweetness of the relation often does bring real happiness how long does it last I just love the way this is written it's amusing and funny but also so interesting and really gives you an insight into how women felt at that time about sex and their bodies because even in a book like this which was definitely revolutionary there's still a lot of shame circling around this and you know talking about your body and there's still the elements of having sex to please a man there's definitely nothing gay happening in here either so it's just I think a really great learning tool and also very entertaining to read a book that was not written in the early 1900s love this was written in this century actually just a couple years ago it is Aziz Ansari's modern romance I'm actually just realizing now that I have talked about like three love books this is unintentional they're all very different and unique in their own ways I loved this because Aziz Ansari is so funny and this is also a book essentially full of data I didn't realize how data filled it was going to be this book is about how technology influences our relationships today specifically our romantic relationships and how that has changed so much from our parents generation and the generation before that where people usually met and married people who lived in the same apartment building or in their neighborhood and now pretty much the entire world has been opened up to the entire world in terms of dating possibilities I found this to be very interesting I learned a lot from it they mainly focus on heterosexual relationships which he does touch on in the beginning of the book Aziz Ansari is so funny in this because he does make his own personal commentary he guides you through the data and I just thought it was a really fun and different format but if you're not somebody that likes reading charts and you know hearing about different surveys and essentially getting an analysis of all the research that they did you're probably not gonna be interested in this because it is a lot of reading that kind of information but I was just eating it up and loved every second of this and found myself laughing out loud – because Aziz is just great and hilarious with his commentary I really love poetry and one of my favorite poets is Adrienne Rich and I actually bought this because I also really loved Cheryl Strayed and the dream of a common language is one of the books that she brought with her when she hiked the Pacific Crest and I looked everywhere for this book it actually took me a while to find it but I finally got it and I loved it so much it is just filled with some of the most beautiful poetry I also really loved Adrienne Rich because she is a woman that writes about her love for other women and one of my favorites I'll actually just move over and give myself some space to put it up here on the screen so if you want to pause and read it I feel like in this particular piece she's so tender and sweet and I love the way that it makes me feel when I read it Adrienne Rich makes me feel like I'm going on a spiritual journey when I read her writing which I know is a very lofty thing to say and it sounds a little bit extreme but it really is true for me I don't always feel that way with poetry like for example when I read poetry by Eileen miles I love her poetry but I don't feel like it's taking me on a spiritual journey Adrienne Rich I feel that way it really feels like this awakening of my soul and different pieces inside of me that I didn't know that I had and that's why I love her writing so so much I have talked about this book before but I really wanted to include this in here because I do get a lot of questions about you know books in the feminist space and what I would recommend this is a book called you don't have to like me I think this is a really great read it's a book of essays written by a biracial young woman which I really love because it is definitely something that I can relate to and while we don't share the same mix there are definitely experiences that biracial people share no matter what mix you are there are just certain feelings that you experience and also things that you experience I love the way that the author breaks down her life her discovery of feminism and she does it with wit and humor and it is just such a great read so I definitely think this is a wonderful book especially for young women to read I loved it it really is a standout in terms of feminist books that I have enjoyed I thought I would end this video by showing you a book that I literally just started last night and it is what happened by Hillary Clinton I typically spend at least an hour reading before bed every single night and I did not want to put this down so I'm not finished with the book because I didn't stay up all night reading it but I will say the main thing about this book is that I did not expect to get as emotional as I did reading it and it makes me kind of nervous to read the book especially before bed because I'm like do I want to dive into this emotional state right before going to sleep but I just also am so interested in hearing what she has to say and I love how honest this book is just right off the bat you can just feel the honesty flowing off of the pages and it is so candid it literally starts off on Inauguration Day and what it felt like to show up as you know not only a former first lady but the opponent in this presidential election and being there at the inauguration what that felt like to be up there so close to where she thought she was going to be taking the oath of office but she wasn't it is such a different look into a Hillary Clinton and I'm loving it I just I really really love it and I'm so excited to see where this book goes but I'm definitely gonna be getting so emotional for like at least the next week reading this freaking book alright that is it for my book video too I hope you guys enjoyed seeing some of the things that I have enjoyed and also something that I just started if you'd like me to do more videos like this in the future please let me know because like I said I do read a lot so I definitely get through books and I definitely as you could tell have thoughts and feelings about books thank you so much for watching this video if you liked it and you'd like me to do another one please give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe to my channel because I make other videos here outside of the book world so you don't want to miss them I'll see you guys later and I hope you're having a wonderful day and I hope you had some reading in because always nice to read a book bye everyone