when I became plant-based 11 years ago I did not care what people ate I was happy with my salad and my smoothie and I let people eat whatever it really didn't bother me at all and I just couldn't believe what everyone else was eating my friends and family especially their people I loved very much and they were eating things that I knew to be horribly horribly wrong [Music] no one was becoming vegan no one cared what I had to say because of the way I was saying it and it left me feeling really exhausted and isolated I stopped caring about my friends and family becoming vegan of course I wanted people to become begin in the way that I want the whole world to become vegan but it was less about my particular loved ones in my life and then the craziest thing happened as soon as I stopped caring people in my life started to become vegan so here are a few pointers for you if you desperately want your loved ones to become vegan no one is going to become vegan unless they want to if you keep trying to convince them it will not be their decision [Music] stop acting like you're better than them be kind in your interactions and stop calling people names if someone called you a name would you listen to their advice about changing your lifestyle probably not if someone makes fun of you because of your lifestyle choices don't be defensive be gracious even laugh about it it'll show people how secure you are in your decisions about your lifestyle that you don't need anyone else's validation when your loved ones have questions about veganism answer them yes answer them happily give them as much information as you can I have made it a personal rule for myself that I will not under any circumstance bring up veganism unless my friends or my family do first if you're into that super duper hippie dippie weirdos stuff that's normally associated with veganism that's great go for it but possibly try to save it for the friends who get it don't make your food seem like such a big burden like it's such a big sacrifice in your lifestyle eat normal stuff around them like an apple for a snack or pasta for dinner or a sandwich for lunch almost every single person who is vegan today at one time was not you didn't always think this way you used to say I could never be vegan and so doing this daily should really help you to stop being judgmental and stop being pushy because the more you push the more you push them away look good feel great be passionate be the kind of person other people want to be around obviously there's no point trying to be perfect but be better today than you were yesterday it's especially powerful if your friends and family can see the transformation you went through from being not begin to be vegan now when you bring food around friends and family it should look and smell so good to them that they want to bite and they want to abandon what's on their plate make sure you test recipes before you share them with friends and family because there are some recipes that maybe will fall flat a little bit but if you bring consistently really good food especially desserts it will really help people stop and consider it what they're eating it is not your responsibility to make every single person in the world vegan in fact I would argue it's not your responsibility to make one person in your life vegan even if you are vegan activist and you spend your time leaf reading and making activism videos I think that's incredible just try to leave it at the door when it comes to your family this has been my experience loved ones family and friends they just don't respond to activism the way strangers do the reason no one likes to be told what to do by someone they love since I have been doing these things so many people in my life have become vegan and even become vegan curious it's hilarious and amazing the more I let go the more it happens of course there are those few and incredible people who have a vegan in their family who does push it on them and does give them one look and say do you know what's on your plate and they instantly become vegan and that's amazing I just don't think that's typical and it shouldn't be expected when you're dealing with family and friends [Music] and I think a good social media post every once in a while is a great way to make people stop and think and consider the way we view animals but it's the constant barrage of vegan truth bombs over and over and over that has the opposite effect so what do I think we should do instead of forcing everyone in their uncle to sit down and watch earthlings with us focus on improving yourself and on loving your friends and family unconditionally and show them that vegan really is love [Music]