so many vegans feel alone maybe they're the only vegan in their family or the only vegan in their community or maybe they're in high school and they're the only one who brings a vegan lunch but I think one of the most difficult things for people is when they are vegan and their partner is not I've been plant-based for 11 years and four or five of those years I've been a passionate ethical vegan but my husband is not vegan and after so many years of feeling distant and disconnected from my partner I have come to the other side and I feel so grateful for everything that we've been through I get asked all the time about how I deal with having a partner who's not vegan and most people are really curious about how the food aspect works and that's honestly the easiest part of it and actually have a video all about like what we eat for dinner so go ahead and check that out if you can the hardest part is that we fundamentally disagree on such a huge thing I like to kind of compare it to having different religious beliefs or political beliefs so if religion is a really big part of your life imagine having a partner who supports you in your beliefs but doesn't believe it himself or let's say you're a staunch atheist but your partner believes in God that's kind of what it feels like however in this video I want to talk about the best thing about being married to a non-vegan and here it is because I am vegan and I'm super passionate and I am it's a huge deal for me it's a big part of my lifestyle but my partner is not vegan I have learned so much about unconditional love and truly accepting everyone vegans have the unfortunate reputation for being pushy and judgmental and most of the time I think the judgement one feels from vegans is typically a reflection of themselves because non vegans feel judged whether a vegan is pushing their beliefs on them or not but the thing is it can be really easy to slip into judgment and pushiness because as vegans we know what happens to animals and we want it to stop and we simply cannot understand why people are still eating scrambled eggs I first became an ethical vegan just a few months after my husband and I were married so imagine the transition I went from plant-based not caring what other people because it's just a personal health choice for me to suddenly the veil is relative from my eyes and I started seeing meat as the dead bodies of tortured animals and dairy as the stolen breast milk of raped cows and eggs as the menstruation of abused hens because that's what they are and you can just imagine the shift in our relationship because that is when our relationship became strained and challenging to use euphemisms it was really really hard the first two years of marriage are typically really hard for couples anyway imagine just throwing on like world shattering belief systems on top of all that it was very challenging so in those first two years of marriage I was pushy I was judgmental and I was consuming everything I could get my hands on about ethical veganism because I was awakened to animal enslavement and in the meantime I was trying to make a marriage work with someone who didn't want to listen and the more I tried to make him see the worse our relationship got and this wasn't helping the animals anyway relationships are already hard they're challenging it's it's a challenge to be a relationship with someone no matter how blissful you think it is at the beginning it's difficult and it's much much harder when you're trying to change your partner never try to change your partner at all and then I let go and I know I said this on my channel before but I did I just let go I stopped trying to make my husband vegan and I like to think of it as releasing myself of the responsibility to make him vegan and now that I'm on the other side of it and my husband and I are in such a good place we're like so good I can't even tell you and not to mention the fact that you know he eats vegan with me all the time now I'm so grateful I can't tell you how much both of us have changed as people and how we've just become better people because I'm married someone who's not vegan I feel like I'm really really good at talking to people who aren't vegan I have just learned how to be compassionate I learned how to accept people regardless of their life style choices I've learned how to accept people regardless of their lifestyle choices beyond veganism like so many people I was raised to believe that there is one way to do things like there's one right way to live and because of that I think I have grown up being very judgmental well how on earth can I judge someone for their choices when the person I love and the person I share a bed with isn't willing to go vegan now that doesn't mean I am any less passionate about veganism it doesn't change the fact that I want every single person on this planet including my partner to stop paying people to torture and slaughter animals what it does change is my love and my attitude toward them because the truth is if my husband went vegan tomorrow it would be amazing I would be so excited I wouldn't love him any more than I do right now and that is what compassion looks like that's what unconditional love looks like I'm not at all perfect in this arena but this is what I am striving for every day the best thing about having a non-vegan partner is how it has made me grow as a person it's taught me how to accept everyone while continuing to set this example of compassion because how can we preach compassion as vegans if we only love people on the condition that there begin to